So yesterday I was shooting some looks and I had some outfits I was super excited about. Knowing that I trusted my photographer, I knew I was in great hands. Once we got to a riskier outfit ( what’s risky about a romper, I don’t know ? Risky for me I think. ) I kept making bad comments about myself. My photographer says to me ” Isn’t the reason you started this blog is to start accepting your self! Stop with those bad comments! ” Nail on head. I knew this was true. I replied to her ” I know, this blog is forcing me to work through my demons and try to love who I am.” Bad habits die hard. She showed me some of the pics and I was elated to see the photos she had. Suddenly those bad feelings disappeared.
Where do these demons come from? Maybe media, maybe our family or friends, or maybe just a standard we set for us very long ago. The things I constantly harp on for myself are mostly things that I can’t change. My legs are too big – well they’ve been big since I was three. My family used to (affectionately) call me thunder thighs. Why do I hate something that is so strong? In high school I was one of the fastest huddlers at my school, fast relay runner ( our record still stands at the school ) and triple jumper. I could leg press 200 lbs. There was a boy that would always make fun of me saying I have the biggest calves he’d ever seen ( the reason why I have to special order riding boots, are any shoe that is meant to go over my calf – forget gladiator sandals ). I can’t change that this is just the way they are, not matter how much weight I lose are gain, this is the reality. So why not start being thankful that these legs get me from A-B everyday. That these legs help me shoot weddings well or walk around beautiful cities all over the world. Thankful that I have two healthy legs to be able to swim, dance, or whatever.
Well I have beef with my arms too. Oprah talking about her “wings” has got nothing on me. But somehow I forgot that at one point these arms at 16 could bench 100 lbs ( yup, badass right? ) That at 13 I was beating boys at arm wrestling ( not so bad ass if you wanted a date – oops). That I have two arms that allow me to wrap them around my husband everyday day when he comes home from work or hug a friend in need. That these are are strong and allow to me hold my camera up to my face and do a job that I love so much.
And now my waist. I feel bad for the waist area really because it gets hated on the most from everyone. I have never had kids but for those women that I know have – that’s where your kid was made. Yea its got a few stretch marks now – earned battled wounds! Yea it might be a little flabby here or there but that space is where your child grew, where you harvested that little growing alien into the beautiful person it is today. Maybe you don’t have kids and are thinking ” Well there not reason that my stomach should look like this , I don’t have any kids! ” Welp, a sentence I have said far too often. Doesn’t matter, either way , that is the space allows you to nourish yourself – be thankful that your organs are in working order and if you are healthy, that you are healthy!
We are so used to tearing ourselves down, instead of noticing the things we do like about ourselves. The things on the outside AND inside. We don’t practice giving gratitude to our bodies when our bodies can do such amazing things. We are not just here to look a certain way! I think it’s interesting how in the media, for men, bigger is better, stronger is better, and for women to be the thinnest and smallest possible is better – do you think that is an accident? I will let you draw your own conclusion about that.
But our thoughts have so much more power than we are sometimes aware of. Trust me, if you are telling yourself that you are fat or this or that – you are telling yourself what you want others to think about you. No one will ever think more of you, than you think about yourself ( well maybe your parents or best friends cause they are nice) but you are putting out a signal about how you want to be read …make sure that signal is a good one. Our worth is more than whatever the number on the scale is.
Look in the mirror today and give gratitude for all the things your body can do. And then tell yourself you are one sexy beast and put on a slamming outfit so the world can see that too.